Florida

Over the weekend I went to Pensacola for work on my way to my new home in Copenhagen, Denmark. Everyone is so confused about where I live now… Even I’m confused about where I live now. I woke up and the sky was a murky grey, the grass a perfect shade of kelly green, birds chirping happily as they pluck various insects from the bushes… I live in Denmark now. 

Florida was a nice little break from the chaos of getting from San Diego to Copenhagen. We stayed at a lovely Air BnB with the family of my friend getting married. She had given me the choice of being in the wedding or photographing it and I chose both because, heck yeah both! I literally walked down the aisle with my camera around my neck and shot the ceremony point of view…. it was awesome. Well, until my daughter (also in the wedding) decided she was over it and tried to go for a mid-ceremony swim in her flower girl dress… I love my daughter. Nothing like being the parent that has to rescue their child from the Gulf of Mexico during the ceremony, right? 

It was a great wedding. Everyone was happy, the sun was shining, and despite the crazy weather that redirected a nice handful of us we mostly all made it in the nick of time. It was good to see my dear friend marry the man of her dreams… A nice detour into the crazy that is now my life abroad. For once I actually got to sit and relax and enjoy the wedding without fear of missing a shot. Brian kicked butt as the primary photographer, I owe my full relaxation to him. 

We sat and listened to Cicadas and the birds attempting to eat them, the warm waters and the gorgeous pool at the Air BnB, the conversation rich and joyful… but the looming of hurricane and wildfire crisis shaped our thoughts as we waited with nervousness to know if we would all make it home at the end of the weekend. Houston is still under flood waters… Irma is sneaking up just behind Harvey…. Another just behind her. Oregon and Northern California are on fire… I couldn’t help but stir in my sleep with worry for my fellow Americans. Wondering if this place, Pensacola, would look the same 5 years from now… 10 years from now. For sale signs on a lot of the houses brought a feeling that maybe these people know that this paradise is fleeting. 

I have friends in the hurricane effected areas, and I think about them constantly. One of my best friends lives in The British Virgin Islands and is 8 months pregnant… I think about her a lot and I hope Irma passes quickly from her doorstep. 

I photographed a wedding in Houston in 2013… I spent almost a week there. We went to so many places that are now under flood waters, it’s very disheartening and now a category 5 is moving slowly into place. I feel helpless… but I know I am not alone in my helpless feelings. And now I’m hearing reports that a group of teenagers started the fire in the Columbia River Gorge in Oregon throwing fireworks into the forest… They laughed at the woman that tried to stop them… The helplessness continues. 

But I got off the plane here in Copenhagen and I saw my husband’s face and I felt safe… I felt complete again. I felt that we had a new chance and a carpet of opportunity had been rolled out before us… I felt that my worry and my fear, although still present, was not appreciated… That I needed to be here now and to make my life move forward despite the circumstances back at home. I have to make this work not only for us, but for the people we left behind that are facing so many issues and need a little light… And I want us to be that light. I want to be a beacon for anyone that has a crazy dream. I want to live the example, I want to be the exception to the rule… I want to inspire and be inspired, despite the pain and suffering all around me. I want to help move us forward, as a team.

I am not sending only prayers… I am sending light and I hope it’s so blindingly bright, you can see it from the freaking moon. You can do anything you want to, as long as you’re willing to do the work. You can be whatever you want to, as long as you’re patient. You can do this America, you can and you will and we will be here hoping to help show you the way out of this. We can do it, together.